How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
