Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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