I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
it glows. i had to have it.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
