are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
