Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
