Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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