I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i would punch a child for taco bell
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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