haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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