Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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