I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
my liver is dry heaving
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
