so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize