Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
