Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
