Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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