Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
This house was built for laser tag.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
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Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
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Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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