My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize