Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
