So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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