oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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