so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
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