I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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