Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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