i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
