I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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