Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Randomize
