wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
