WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes