East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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