You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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