Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
