she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
