Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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