just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
