Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
