Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
