Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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