Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
