At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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