i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
