never play flip cup with pint glasses
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
