Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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