She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
