The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
