This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
