i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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