he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
