so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
How does one acquire holy water?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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