His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
