All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
