Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I would ride that face into the sunset
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
