I'm jealous of your bromance
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
