Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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