well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So vagazzling was a success
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
