VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
