just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
