OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
