We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I need to align my fucking chakras
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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