Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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