just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
