sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
