I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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