I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
