And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
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Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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