In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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