I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize