Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm really into asian looking animals
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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